So Brian Said

I'm constantly amazed at what isn't on the Internet and what isn't on the Internet more.

Google currently searches 4,285,199,774 webpages, but a search for "That is the stupidest thing anyone has ever said" returns only four results. Soon, this will be fifth.

Because I know you're wondering:

• Destro thinks the stupidest thing anyone has ever said was when SauronOfMordor told the FreeRepublic forum that "Unfortunately for Greece, the Roman Empire happened. Any Greek worth a damn emigrated into the Empire to seek his fortune, leaving mainly the dregs of the gene pool behind."
• Shiori thinks that Gunnr saying he didn't plan to acknowledge being in love with Janice is the stupidest thing anyone has ever said. And she hangs out with Svanhvit Icebinder, the ditziest demon ever to be spawned in the Pit of Ice.
• Milincollin thinks that "nice guys finish last" is the stupidest thing anyone has ever said.

I think the stupidest thing anyone has ever said is "Quetzalcoatl."

--McJangles 3:32 AM
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I've got to write something.

I'm kind of in the mood for one of those pretentious rants about something putrid and low that perfectly encapsulates all the things I hate about corporate everything, but nothing's really gotten me upset lately.

I kind of wanted to talk about the little "MSN Today" links next to where I sign in for Hotmail, because they're so mindless e.g. "Making long-distance relationships work," "Ben's new main squeeze," and "When jealous pets try to ruin a relationship."

But then I signed in and it said "Pictures of Anna Kournikova." Well, maybe it's not so bad after all.

How about something else to bitch about? Rich people. Screw all of you.

That's much better.

--McJangles 11:32 PM
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Look, it's another post about how I haven't posted in a long time.  I guess you'll all have to wait.  Perhaps someone could do something interesting for me to comment on.

--McJangles 1:13 AM
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I apologize for not posting, but the only thing that I care at all about right now is so completely unpostable.  But it is totally badass and hardcore and stick-it-to-the man.  I just need to put together the team.  Stay tuned. 

--McJangles 1:18 AM
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I went to Lorain's Port Fest to do a story yesterday, and the cover band on the stage said, "This is a song about Put-In-Bay."

 

I'm not sure why I felt so compelled to blog that, but I really felt it had to be done.

 

Also, I don't like this feature where you tell Blogger what time to say you posted something.  It's not as if it doesn't work or something, I just don't like that it's available.

--McJangles 1:32 AM
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OK, I think I'm starting to understand the whole concept of going to bars and that entire scene.  It kind of reminds me of tomatoes.  I had a whole analogy worked out in my head, but as I typed it up, it became unraveled, so you'll have to come up with your own.
 
I am tired because my brakes took the day off on my way home, and the Ohio Turnpike, which I normally adore, has some sort of tow-truck kartel (after years at that restaurant, the correct spelling looks too wrong to me), which meant that getting home took about three hours.  Curse you, Turnpike.  I love you.
 
Also, did anybody else hear what Sen. Dumbass said as the Federal Homophobe Amendment went down in flames?  That idiot tried to tell the country that keeping 'mos from getting married was a matter of homeland security: "I would argue that the future of our country hangs in the balance because the future of marriage hangs in the balance . . .. Isn't that the ultimate homeland security, standing up and defending marriage?"
 
I'm sure we can count on that dipshit to publicly rebuke John McCain for voting against Homeland Security, and I'm sure we can count on Ann Coulter to call for McCain to be shot in the head as a traitor to the country.
 
I don't think it's any coincidence that the genius who drew an analogy between gay marriage and jihad on the floor of the United States Senate is assigned to:
– Subcommittee on Social Security and Family Policy
– Subcommittee on Health Care
– Subcommittee on Taxation and IRS Oversight
– Subcommittee on Housing and Transportation
– Subcommittee on Securities and Investment
– Subcommittee on Financial Institutions
– Committee on Rules
– Committee on Aging
 
Notice the lack of anything even slightly distinguished.  It's clear first of all that this guy is just desperate for somebody to notice he exists, but it also seems that there's probably a good reason that this guy hasn't been put on the Committee for Things of Grave Import.  Perhaps because he's a goddamn moron.
 
Interestingly, when you Google News "santorum -marriage," you get about 400 hits, but if you let it search for "marriage," your hits increase nearly 400 percent.
 
Being partisan is actually kind of fun, but I hope I can stop once Bush is assassinated.  I mean voted out in a democratic fashion.

--McJangles 3:15 AM
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New words!
 
Also, the 2004 AP Stylebook is out, and they've finally changed "innocent" to "not guilty," which is the last of the really absurd quirks of the style that I always remember and stew about.
 
And there was something else, but I forget what.

--McJangles 9:19 PM
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Anybody who is irritated by my infrequent posting should probably just go to the linked blogs and sort through their comments. I'd say that even in my dry spells on here, I've still posted quite a bit of substantial writing on the other pages. Several exchanges lately with Deirdre, as well as with Steve from St. Joe's.

I have a short list of blogs that I read but don't link to, whether it's because, like Steve, it's so conservative that I don't feel comfortable endorsing it yet, or like Zoë's friend Harper. I feel kind of creepy reading her blog, which is probably not meant for consumption so wide that it includes people she's never met or heard of. For the record, that list does not include Rachel's blog, which I actually still have not read since the Mariachi Locos fiasco.
--McJangles 1:43 AM
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The dentist said he wanted to fix my front tooth. I said it had character. He laughed at me and fixed it anyway. I think I would have had more fun at a frat party than I had sitting with two people's hands in my mouth for 90 minutes.
--McJangles 12:58 PM
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A couple of notes before we start:
(1) Jason Lynch taught me not to argue with the ignorant. "They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."
(2) A lot of this is going to sound a lot like saying "No, you shut up." (Dragged down to their level...)

I'm not even sure how to start this, because you're supposed to reel people in by making your subject relevant. However, my subject is not at all relevant, because I am only speaking of the really, really ignorant people out there. I probably should not be even responding to something so absurd, but I still noticed something very interesting.

You know the people who say things like, "Well, if you don't like what our country is doing, maybe you should go live in" Russia, China, Iraq, wherever? The thought seems to be that the people who protest, the people who don't support Bush, the people in opposition to the Patriot act or the people who exercise basic, typically First Amendment freedoms, would like it better in a more oppressive country.

Some quick Googles turn up the following:
--You first bash a reputable company without evidence and then you bash the President. Are you American? Maybe you should go move to a better nation which in your opinion would probably be Iraq.
--HOW DARE YOU SAY I SUPPORT TERRORISM!! Maybe you should go live in Irac for awhile and see how far your freedom of speach gets you.
--Army National Guard Sergeant Paul Byers suggested "maybe you should go live in Communist China,"
--"IT'S REALLY IRONIC THAT YOU HAVE THE FREEDOM OF SPEECH AND SO MANY OTHER GIFTS LIVING IN THIS COUNTRY. MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO LIVE IN AFGHANISTAN OR CUBA, WHERE YOU LEFTISTS REALLY BELONG. I AM OFFENDED BY SOME OF YOUR SPEAKERS." I would really recommend reading all of that page, incidentally.
--"YOU tom need to move over to iraq because you are the unhappy one i'm proud to be a american because ilive in florida"
--"Maybe you should go live in a country that don't have freedom then you will see how good you have it here in america!"
--"I am an american, I support this country to the end, if you don't like it then maybe you should go live in france and live the good life! Do not tell me this is about the war, I hate protesters because they are a pain in the ass and they don't give a shit for anything but their cause"

The idea (Go somewhere else if you don't like it here) makes enough sense on its face. Of course, you only need to be capable of a marginal level of critical thinking to realize that if the person is unhappy because of a government stranglehold, he obviously won't be happy in a less free country and would probably be better off in Belgium or Canada.

OK, so we know that, and that's why we don't respond to these people's ignorant comments. But this is where the interesting part comes in: Those people actually should move to a Communist dictatorship.

It gets rid of them, sure, but empirical evidence suggests that they might actually be happier there. Take, for example, the First Amendment Center study I linked to a few days ago.

It shows that three in 10 Americans actually dislike the First Amendment for being too generous with freedom. Four in 10 think that the press has too much freedom. More than seven in ten are willing to go along with prohibiting T-shirts that a racial group could find offensive. Keep in mind, we're not talking about people who think you shouldn't be offensive, we're talking about people who would vote for a law prohibiting a T-shirt.

In a poll by the Chicago Tribune, similar results turned up. About 20 percent said that negative reporting on the war should not be allowed, and 20 percent would actually outlaw editorials critical of the war. And while 20 percent said the First Amendment went too far, 10 percent said the Patiot Act didn't go far enough. That is terrifying.

So really, might these people be happier in Russia? Remember that link to Pravda, where the lead story made it look like the young women of Russia saw Vladimir Putin like the young women of America once saw Elvis. Might they not be happier in China, where they'll put a bullet in your head for speaking ill of the government (Do they actually do that? I'm probably stereotyping Communist dictatorships. What a shame.) And might they be happier in Iraq, where you can be quite certain that the women won't be wearing anything offensive to anyone, except feminists, perhaps, but they should be strung up by their balls anyway.

In summary, this entry is kind of weak, mostly because these people really aren't worth arguing with (... and beaten with experience). Stupid theses, such as "Empirical data suggest that First Amendment opponents would like Bangladesh" should really not be argued.

Also, Linndale sucks.
--McJangles 1:42 AM
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In a landmark ruling on the fight against terrorism, the Supreme Court said, "This is the destiny of a democracy: She does not see all means as acceptable, and the ways of her enemies are not always open before her. A democracy must sometimes fight with one arm tied behind her back."

That, for the record, was the Israeli Supreme Court. I see a very serious problem when the president of the United States has a less advanced understanding of democracy than the Middle East.
--McJangles 2:49 AM
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Don't you hate it when some jackass goes into your car and rips out your stereo? That totally pisses me off.

Another thing that gets me pissed off is the bulk of this study's findings.

As I mentioned before, only one percent of Americans know that the First Amendment gives them the right to petition the government, so fewer than 1 in 100 know all five of their First Amendment rights.

A refresher:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Write it down; it's important.

And for those who have not done enough writing down, I've taken down your links. My link section is pitiful.

--McJangles 1:09 AM
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